Haven’t we all realized? There’s a paramount difference between tolerance and acceptance, and upon reflecting I think that I have been tolerating more than I should have been, leading to a very nasty feeling stirring within me, right after I had a quarrel with my friend. In the end, both of us refused to back down, but I apologized. Why?
Positively thinking, I told myself that it was because I had valued the friendship more than my pride. But this was definitely a case of simply tolerance, for I did not accept her words at all. And there’s a limit to everyone’s patience.
Yes. All the dark feelings were swirling inside and I felt just like that girl above, all full of hatred and so ugly inside. Now that I think about it more clearly, the reason why I tolerated was probably because I was a self-conscious freak who did not want to ruin my reputation by having my friends hate me. I couldn’t take the anxiety and hurt, thus I conveniently chose to apologize. I was just being a weakling. But anyway, here’s the prose-ish thing:
Irritation is an understatement
Disguising any disgust
Quelling the bitterness
Fighting for control
Before this mad dog breaks free
And chaos ensues,
While I take the harsh words
Lashing out at my soul
Gripping my sanity tight
And desperately thinking of what it means to be human,
Not to kill her there and then.