Hi fellow otakus.. I don’t know if you go through the same thing as I do.
I’m not ashamed of my love of anime/manga but I somehow find it embarrassing when people (especially those who don’t know a thing about it) find out and talk about me reading manga. Idk, sounds contradictory, but it’s like an involuntary response.
Main example: Closing/switching tabs and plugging out earphones whenever family tries to look at what i’m seeing on my laptop. Next one is really aggravating. Whenever my friends and I go to Comics Connection (..they go see the K-pop stuff), I have to resist the urge to look at the huge collection of mangas and cool keychains. I just avoid anything anime-related when i’m with them..
You know, when someone easily says, “Oh, anime, you watch?”, I just feel awkward and conscious when they say ‘anime’ in such an unfamiliar tone and it feels terrible. I mean, I want to declare something like “Yeah, I love it. Go watch it, all of you morons. What the hell have you been doing with your life?!”. But I really don’t know, it feels like people perceive anime as a foreign interest and I feel uncomfortable letting my friends/family know about my love for it. Zzz.
And I’ve always loved the anime style of drawing people.
(yes, that’s my drawing and yes, I know it’s amateurish) Anyways, I very consciously hide my notebook when I draw and when people ask what i’m drawing, I say that i’m actually writing some stuff. ZZZZZ. Back to the point, I really love drawing but I absolutely suck because I can’t draw details and I can’t draw hands and fingers and I can’t shade either. The only thing that keeps me going on is the sailor uniform. HEEHEE. Just love their uniforms, so pretty!!
So yeah.. i’m just living the secret otaku life for now.
(Above picture is a depiction of what I would like to appear as, but unfortunately that will never happen. See, anything anime-ish looks so damned good.)
Yeah! So since I can’t declare my ABSOLUTE, UNWAVERING AND PASSIONATE LOVE FOR ANIME in real life, I shall just say it now. Anime is my life!!!!
An otaku, and proud to be one :D