Sunday nights are always full of regrets, says a friend. Homework is left unfinished, and the dream of reinventing yourself as an enthused, intellectual student is broken. There’s gonna be another sleepless night, another hectic week, another purposeless routine.
I haven’t written here for around four months and geez, i’m starting on this depressing topic of procrastination and aimlessness which has been persisting since I started this blog two years back. I’ll keep the whining to a minimum, and briefly summarize my list of miseries since starting junior college.
- Oh noes, insecurities and self-pity again!
- No one understands me! No one reads the books that I read! Oh, the distance between friends!
- Screw you shoujo manga advice, i’m not gonna confess to t-the guy I l-l-like!
I spent hours elaborating on each of those points by the way, and this seems like typical girl bullshit, but trust me when I say that they were very real concerns to me. But there’s no point for you to waste your time reading about me moping around, and i’m actually quite happy right now. I do know what to do. The point of this post is to firstly say hi. Hello there I hope you’re all fine! And next, here’s a short message I wanted to share. It’s in this quote by Aldous Huxley:
Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn’t nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.
Looking through some of my old documents, one dominant sentiment present can be encapsulated in this sentence:
“Ermagerd, I wanna live in the anime world.”
Dat passion. Dat beauty. Peace breeds boredom, which is probably why people get sick of the monotony and wish for a zombie apocalypse. They want to feel some intensity. Some desperate lust for survival, some brutal violence and violation of the rules. That’s why I wished to break into the anime world, where wanderlust and adventures or the nuances of solitude are so throughly explored. Yet as of now, I have moved significantly away from the anime realm. That’s all I want to say. I know that my posts are repetitive and pathetic over time because I keep choosing to sink and not struggle hard. But hey, I really needed to share that good quote!
Happiness is never grand, and parks are only as boring as you make them out to be. Sometimes I think I should stop refusing to go for walks in the park with my family.