Incoherent Updates lol

Sunday nights are always full of regrets, says a friend. Homework is left unfinished, and the dream of reinventing yourself as an enthused, intellectual student is broken. There’s gonna be another sleepless night, another hectic week, another purposeless routine.

A picture that may or may not be relevant, but it's okay because it looks symbolic enough.

Sup’? Can’t you see that i’m a mysterious, cool guy filled with angst and pain in my life? I just want to be free and to liberate the world from pain.

I haven’t written here for around four months and geez, i’m starting on this depressing topic of procrastination and aimlessness which has been persisting since I started this blog two years back. I’ll keep the whining to a minimum, and briefly summarize my list of miseries since starting junior college.

  • Oh noes, insecurities and self-pity again!
  • No one understands me! No one reads the books that I read! Oh, the distance between friends!
  • Screw you shoujo manga advice, i’m not gonna confess to t-the guy I l-l-like!

I spent hours elaborating on each of those points by the way, and this seems like typical girl bullshit, but trust me when I say that they were very real concerns to me. But there’s no point for you to waste your time reading about me moping around, and i’m actually quite happy right now. I do know what to do. The point of this post is to firstly say hi. Hello there I hope you’re all fine! And next, here’s a short message I wanted to share. It’s in this quote by Aldous Huxley:

Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn’t nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.

Looking through some of my old documents, one dominant sentiment present can be encapsulated in this sentence:

“Ermagerd, I wanna live in the anime world.”

Ain't it obvious that I love Yuumei

Yuumei, Goddess of Art

Dat passion. Dat beauty. Peace breeds boredom, which is probably why people get sick of the monotony and wish for a zombie apocalypse. They want to feel some intensity. Some desperate lust for survival, some brutal violence and violation of the rules. That’s why I wished to break into the anime world, where wanderlust and adventures or the nuances of solitude are so throughly explored. Yet as of now, I have moved significantly away from the anime realm. That’s all I want to say. I know that my posts are repetitive and pathetic over time because I keep choosing to sink and not struggle hard. But hey, I really needed to share that good quote!

Happiness is never grand, and parks are only as boring as you make them out to be. Sometimes I think I should stop refusing to go for walks in the park with my family.


7 thoughts on “Incoherent Updates lol

  1. 117

    so this means less blogs or non? come on me on the other hand just moved into this realm even though rather late part of my life continue making blogs because this provides a certain feel of continuity i would be happy that at least once a month of blog for this blogs makes one of the best arguments about anime because some people that i had debate about anime is not very stimulating

  2. Cassandra

    I see then please keep the blog alive at the very least. I enjoyed your posts especially for Valvrave the Liberator. I left being online for a while and now your off from blogging. Thanks for your posts in any case. There are no words to describe just how much cherish them.

  3. Sonny

    I’m glad you got back, even though it was only for a brief moment!
    Just a quick, but in my opinion, important reminder for you: you have your readers, like me, like the people (see above), who comment your posts, like all the silent readers, who you are not aware of, but still check your blog under your radar, and all of us are here on our own will and wish. Nobody is forcing us and we certainly don’t feel obligated to visit your blog and read through all your posts.
    We’re here to hear you complain, to hear you rant about the stupidest and most random things, to support you and to relate with you, because we do. Although we’re all different, we’re also all, in some level, the same. I mean, we have all struggled and failed countless times and still do and still will, we all talk and talk and talk about the same (bad) things over and over again until our conversations partners ears bleed. And this is so FREAKING normal and it shouldn’t be dismissed as a nuisance and therefore tossed aside. (Plus, it can’t be healthy either, keeping all this bullshit inside of you.)
    So the thing is: if you want to just vent on how bad the circumstances are right now, although you may feel you’re being annoying and repetitive or whatever else, then just vent with us anyway! Honestly, I see your blog as a tiny community run by you, and as this little community, we are there for you. You’re the leader, if anyone doesn’t like how you run the blog, tell them to just fuck off. This blog is your freaking belonging at the end of the day.
    “Because keeping it all inside just doesn’t work out sometimes”, your words that stand at your banner and the reason why you started your blog: so just do it.
    Maybe you don’t need it as often anymore, thus your lack of posts. But if you still do and when you do, just write until your heart is content and rid of the ghosts haunting you.

    Take care!

  4. shucklesweg

    Bet you didn’t expect to see me here huh Aleris. Well, first up I have to confess that I often revisit thus post. Why? I’m not sure either. Something inside reverberates with me, somewhere deep within me “feels” you. Escapism, I am sure is something that everyone craves. There is nothing wrong with it. Life has its ups and downs, and everyone has to find a way to cope. We shouldn’t have to keep it inside of us, and let it simmer, curdle up and eventually spill over, affecting the other aspects of our lives. Do you sometimes feel like in the process of fitting in, you have lost an integral part of yourself? Something you once treasured and valued above all. Something that has once brought you joy. I don’t know what I’m going through now, or what you are going through but never give up something you love. Control but never forsake it. Ha look at me now. Once able to craft elegant paragraphs of prose or spew of poetry… I have lost that part of me somewhere along the way and now I struggle with a medium in once found so beautiful. Deep down I know when and why I stopped yet I’m simply avoiding the topic. Your blog is a beacon in the dark and I enjoy reading your musings, as childish as they might be. Please don’t stop writing. And if you’re ever facing any issues, I hope you know that you have friends you can rely on. Have the courage to say what you want to say, before the words die out. Trust me, you can do not wrong. Love, Bryna.


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