How Are Y’all (do my readers still exist)?

Caught up in multitudes of insignificant, transient worries that encompass the tiny universe of our minds;

All we are is entertainment, caught up in our own derangement.

It’s been a really long while since i’ve last posted, and i’m sure we’ve all grown. I’d like to say that i’m not stuck in that perpetual cycle of helplessness, but one cannot fully escape from its depths. It’s funny how i’m posting again at this period near exams, as I desperately did three years ago when I was in a miserable slump. Many resolutions with much conviction have been made, some of them failed while others were seen through. So many things have changed since then, and new worries now take centre stage while what used to be so important have now become insignificant.

Many things beyond my narrow universe and silly worries have happened! Gay marriage has been legalised in the US, Amos Yee happened, and ISIS is going crazy. Yeah the truth is that i’m a lazy ignorant fuck who hardly looks beyond anything as a proverbial frog in my limited well.

What exactly is the point of this post? Nothing, really. Definitely nothing about manga– while there’s always a special place for it in my mind, I barely read anything now except for the occasional webtoon. I have also decided that ranting is not productive unless decisive action is taken afterwards. My life is honestly good now, except for the failings in me that cannot reconcile reality and idealism, and idealism is an illusion anyway. I still have faith that hard work will help me reach a better place, though.

C’mon, I have a good life now. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have great people with me. I’m a privileged person. People always say that you have to look within before you venture out, but sometimes when staring back at yourself yields unnecessary hours of worries and dissatisfaction, it’s actually okay to just trust your instincts and move on. Seriously, just no regrets. Call this yet another lame motivational post, but its a personal one. I’ll prove it to myself that I can succeed in this life.

I’ll look beyond myself. As empty as this sounds, the world is vast. I’ll create my own meaning if I can’t wait for it to fall on my lap. Tryhards never win, huh? At least they tried.


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